Note: Untitled note
The unpleasant smell of pencil shavings and Windex spray fills my senses

I see A white board

The words, "Socialization time" written in pine green expo marker

I look down 

I'm sitting in a wooden desk 

where am I?

"why are you so quiet?" "you dont talk much" "say something" "whats wrong with you?" 

Oh, i remember now

Outside, looking in

It's 2011

We've been paired up 

"Describe your partner in one word"

"How exactly will this improve my comprehenson skills?", I recall thinking to myself in that moment

"Timid"

Some things just don't change

Unless you change them

"What are you so afraid of?"

Same response every time 

"I don't know"

I did, but it took me a while to realize 

Fast forward a year

"You're so funny", that's what they said 

"You're still scared", that's what I heard 

"Word of advice: Converse isn't spelled with a k, tell dollar general to give you a refund"

The crowd goes wild

"That used to be you", the icy calm voice whispers to me with disgust

My smile fades

Face now expressionless

The words stuck on repeat in my head, volume rising steadily into a harsh scream 

The Faint sound of laughter heard vaguely in the background 

But I'm too dazed to join them

I'm Stuck in my head 

Still fighting a losing battle with my conscience

My stupor is only broken by the sight of the boy's tear strucken face 

The memory slowly fades 

6 months have passed since you made a discovery

Realization of what you feared the most 

You're quiet again , except not out of fear 

This time content that you know the truth 

No longer keeping secrets from yourself 

Not yet confident , but no longer fearful

You sit there reading the captivating words of the book that changed your life 

Whether by the unseen presence of fate or god, something miraculous happened 

the two words that now serve as an everyday reminder for you apperared on the page

Be Brave. 

That was the heads up for my first test 

"Do us all a favor and buy some deodorant, you smell like you just walked out of a slaughterhousehouse."

"You don't know what people go through at home, he probably can't get stuff like you can." 

The words tumble out of my 12 year old mouth before I can stop them

The chastiser gives me a strange look before turning towards his audience 

Seconds later the group breaks out into hysterics, obviously a result of the fool's remarks 

Before I have a chance to feel regret, the victim approached me

"Thanks, you didn't have to do that", accompanied by a shy smile

I didn't deliver justice, but I was rewarded one small victory

I made a friend for life that day 

Fast forward yet again 

It's present day 

I'm in my room scavenging for scholarships online

Then I see it 

"I am..Scholarship Slam"

My fingers seem to move on their own accord

No longer do I have that fear 

The fear of judgement

The fear that at one time consumed me

The fear that still consumes the world

The fear that I had one time become 

That's no longer me

I'm someone different with old qualities

Im still quiet 

I'm still content

Some things just don't change 

But I knew I needed a change, so I made one 

A change that I'm forever greatful for

Now I am Brave.