Brain Freeze

Location

06519
United States
41° 17' 44.97" N, 72° 56' 13.9128" W

The sound of striking pain across the cheek
So discreet
The foot steps
I tremble cold feet
I called it defeat
If I was strong enough i could've helped
The screams made my brain freeze.Why didn't I melt?
They think there the champ heavy weight belt
When she was as soft as a feather weight. I wonder how she felt?
My brain freezes with fear I peeked through the door
It's like I ate something cold, but it was the cold deceit of the delusive eye
The cold stare of the crying eye
The dark strong spot that surrounded the eye
I cry, I cry, I cry
But the words from the wounded
What happens in the house stays in the house
The fear behind love watching life go by
All that left me with was a frozen brain wondering. Why?

Comments

wilkerson.rodney

Life is full of ups and downs this was just one that I faced i hope it touches someone!

Hailey.Aaron

Hi there! your poem needs to give a little more detail on what seems to be going on. To me it just seems so blunt. I really liked it though, good job! (: (for instance, go more into detail on how you are reacting to the situation, is your blood pumping? are you sweating? etc.)

wilkerson.rodney

Thanks for the tips :)

Hailey.Aaron

You're certainly welcome!

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