i feel nothing

as he puts his arm around my shoulder

except for maybe discomfort


i don't understand

why doesn't it make me feel excited or loved

like the media says it should


as he smiles at me and sits close

i just hope that we can be friends

and he won't try to be more


i feel nothing

as he puts his lips on mine

except for maybe discomfort

and the desire to stop


he asks me later if it was okay

i don't know what to say and the advice offered is to say yes

because his pride is more important than honesty i suppose


we could've been friends

but he tried to be more

and now we avoid each other

or make awkward small talk


i felt something

a long time ago

when he called me pretty

but every boy since then just hasn't been enough i guess


what is wrong with me

i don't feel anything but anxiety

when they tease and compliment me

when they get close and try to be something to me


but when she held my hand

i felt something

i felt good

why can't it be like that again?

This poem is about: 
My community


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