I asked my mother, what should I be?

Should I be Portland or should I be Seattle, and here is what she said to me!

Don't be silly hun, you are your father's son, and there can only be truly one,

Portland it must be.

Then I asked my mother, what should I be?

Should I be Blazers or should I be Sonics, and here is what she said to me!

From the day you are born, to the day you are dead, you will always bleed red, and just as Uncle Ted,

Blazers it must be.

A third time I asked my mother, what should I be?

Should I be Timbers or should I be Sounders, and here is what she said to me!

Where does your heart lie? For which team would you cry? For which team would you die?

Timbers it must be.

Lastly I asked my mother, what should I be?

Should I be Thorns or should I be Reign, and here is what she said to me!

All these questions and you are truly a Thorn in my side,

Therefore, Thorns it must be.

PS. Oregon is #1, Oregon State is #whatevertheydontevenmatter