The moment I was born you
were so proud
to be the mother of this new
baby boy you now held in your arms.

At the age of three you
took me out to the park
carefully watching me as I slid down that long corkscrew
with a smile from ear to ear like the happiest kid in the world.

But, I don't think you knew
what was really going on. If you still watched closely,
maybe you would have realized how badly I needed to be rescued.
I tried so hard to hide it.

From my point of view,
happiness was never truly felt-
the feeling of emptiness became an issue
that I was out of my control.

So Mom, I want you to sit down with your tissue,
because I want to tell you the story
behind your confusion and my adieu.
Please don't blame yourself,

you had no clue
of the darkened thoughts behind these smiling eyes
and the pain I was going through
I just want you to understand

that I love you
With all my heart, but
going on like this was just too
hard for me to handle.

As the days ensue,
and you read my letter over and over, just remember
the good times the two
of us shared together.

I'll always be with you.