From an early age I've always had this thing called the "black dog"

See I don't really know why they call it the black dog

Maybe it's because black goes with darkness and darkness goes with sadness

But I've been in the darkness so long I don't remember what the light looks like

And maybe that means I don't know what happiness looks like either

Maybe that's because I'm numb

Or-or maybe it's because of those stray dogs that follow you home uninvited 

You know, those stray dogs that never really go away or at least not for long because you fed them the first time 

And they follow you around like you're their owner even though you didn't want them in the first place 

Or maybe it's because we're all scared of the word depression

Like mental illness is some disease you don't want to catch

You either run away or pretend it's not there but either way you're scared

From an early age I learned how to keep my mouth shut

From an early age I learned how to paint a fake smile on my face and force out laughter 

From an early age I was taught that depression was not suitable for public places 

From an early age I learned how to disassemble pencil sharpeners I learned the crack of a razor

From an early age I learned how to make excuses for long sleeves

But this is a letter to my younger self

It's not okay, wait it is okay, wait it's okay to not be okay

What I'm trying to say is suicide isn't the answer 

And I know it sounds hypocritical coming from me because I can't even say it to myself 

But I want you to know that when you look in the mirror there is nothing wrong with you

That the way you're feeling is called depression

I want you to know that here I am

I am me and that's okay and so are you

Little girl keep your head up

From an early age...from an early age...I'm still at an early age

And I'm still learning to deal with this black dog

I'm still learning to live with this black dog named depression.