Birth Mother
I walked in alone
No phone, no knife, no money
I walked in alone
No friends, no comfort, no home
I walked up the stairs alone
Loose skin where once was a baby
I reached the top alone
They walked in together
With MY happy baby
They hugged me and loved me
I am still alone
They handed her to me and I love her
I cry on her alone
I love her some more
I cry softer—more painfully alone
This is what a breaking heart feels like
Worse than the birth I had alone
Worse than the sexual wrongs been done to me alone
Worse than death I’ll die alone
But am not alone—not when she’s with me
Where is she now.?
I stand up front alone
I shake with self- loathing and nausea grips me
She enters and speaks in her black robe to me alone
I hate her and her solemn way
Cold hot tears alone
“Yes,”
Right hand up, “I solemnly swear,” alone
“No,”
“Yes,”
“No.”
I make my shaky replies alone
Ever held a 5 ton pen?
I sign her away, forever alone
I hold her, my sweetheart Riley Rae
My precious little baby born to me in May
You and I against the world
You and I together forever
You and I the best of friends…
I wish I could erase the ink
I hand her back
I stand alone
I dig in the skin in my arms
They hug my statue while I look on alone
We leave the cold brick building together
I walk 5 blocks of my own Green Mile alone.