Between the Lines

No matter what i say
you won't believe that im not okay
you say it's just another bump in the road
but this gun is on full load 
you say im just going through a rough patch
but there is no way in hell you're gonna walk away without a scratch
i cause destruction everywhere i go
but when i try to warn you, you just laugh and say "no"
you think that im fine but if only you could just read beween the lines
i am a mess
i am a bomb build up on stress
soon i will explode and then maybe you'll believe me 
when i say that im toxic, then maybe you"ll see
you need to get out while you still can
because i have the ability to tear apart any woman or man
as i've done in the past
you say that the suffering wont last
but i suffer everyday, trying to run from myself!
i try to call out "hello, i think i need help!"
but every time I try they think "Oh, it's nothing"
but maybe one day you"ll realize that it"s something!
As the years go by i began to lie 
to the truth about myself i had said goodbye
saying that i'm fine 
and those people still couldn't read between the godamn lines
but then i started to self harm
and them not noticing was no alarm
every night i'd cry
a few more years went by 

before i ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

they finally realize that I wasn't fine 
they started to finally read between the fucking lines!
when it all blew over they had gone back being their oblivious selves
and i was just another book upon their broken shelves
but i knew damn well that i was not to sell
i was just another story
none of them felt the need to worry
because once again they thought i was okay
but how hard is it to listen to all the warning signs that clearly say
"i can't keep going on like this"
i seem to have been thrown out into a dark and bitter
abyss!

im not okay..
and this time i'll say..
you dont need this..
i promise..

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

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