Betray

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 12:27 -- Myther

Betrayal is indeed a bitter pill to swallow

one I never thought I'd have to taste

shows my naivety

betrayal never crossed my mind

so I never thought of it in others

now I ache deep in my heart

and my eyes are burning even as they dry

it was an accident I even heard

that makes it so much worse

they did not know I was even there

they were not aiming to set me to burn

they were not out to tear me down

It happened anyway.

the words they did not silence

the thoughts they could not swallow

the words that echo in my mind

now they cause me doubt

do I really? is this true? would it happen?

my naivety has been proven once,

do I want to chance it proven twice?

my friend once remarked she had only seen my cry the once

I couldn't bear to tell her

-she caused that once, and the twice since

now I can say thrice

I hate my tears

they mock my heart

and call out my simplicity

small barbs in large wounds

I hide my tears again

she did not mean to injure

and I fear showing pain will make it worse

as she has no clue that I even heard

that I left before entering the door

for I could not bear to hear more

Am I really that? Will I really end up...?

these doubts, these questions

I have never entertained before

I feel suspicious, paranoid

uncertain in a sea of black

a sea that allows no sight or feel

never did I consider this

never did I entertain that I might taste

that bitter, bitter pill

Betrayal is a dirty word

and now it's personal.

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