Behind the mask
Location
How am I with no filter? I wake up every morning two hours before school begins to filter myself. I spend thirty minutes finding the perfect outfit that filters my figure, that presents my body image, in a light that I am ok with the world seeing. I suck and tuck, pull and stretch trying to fit a mold a projected image, the image of perfection. I make my way to the restroom to begin on my makeup, forty minutes later I am still adjusting my eyeliner and staring in the mirror, searching for areas of touch up, areas of improvement. I tell myself “oh just a touch up here, just a dab there” and before I know it, my face has become a canvas of foundations, eye shadows, lip gloss and mascara, but this isn’t me. The smile I plaster on my face as I embark on a new day of adventures is not one of sincerity. I am not the girl I project to be I am not the filter that I allow the world to see. So who am I? Who am I when the tight fitting clothes come off and the layers upon layers of makeup are removed? Am I the fun, outgoing girl with an abundance of friends, or am I the girl that stays home and studies for hopes of a bright future? My filter is who I allow outsiders to see, it is the appearance I present to the public; but behind those perfectly painted lips, and immaculately brushed foundation covered cheeks, hides the girl destined for greatness and success. The girl that puts endless amount of studying in every night and the dedication that others strive to possess. Behind that filter sits a girl fearful of the future and failure but motivated to succeed. Under that mask of fake emotions is a girl that has experienced hurt and pain. She is warrior that has fought a strong battle against self-harm and depression. She struggles with her own self-image and worth. But most of all she is a conqueror of all the obstacles life throws at her. She is triumphant against the hardships of mental illness, and a master of optimism. She is me, Breanne Walters, and without my filter, I am a strong aspiring attorney of criminal justice.