Through years of sorrow and so much pain

I thought I’d never see the day

When everything changed

But when I least expected

I had friends by my side

Years of praying

For something good in my life.

 

How much time did I waste

Crying alone and safe

From peering eyes?

How much time did I waste

With a grudge against a man

Who was only sick,

And whose fate

Lead to my inner demise?

 

But it was too late.

 

I never wanted regret on my shoulders

But I guess I focused

On all the wrong things

And forgot to stop

And look up at the sky

And have faith in tomorrow

I guess I lost trust

That something good was coming

That the sun

Was still friends with the moon;

I guess I lost faith in you.

 

Or maybe

It was me who refused to let go

Of everything I was holding onto

Like carrying all the shopping bags

In one route

Before they all start to fall off,

Slipping away from my hand.

 

I hope you can understand

I never meant to ignore you

I never meant to hurt you

I guess time isn’t my friend

I hoped something would change

I prayed maybe you would change

I’m reminded of the pain I hold

The pain I caused

To you

And myself

I live through it everyday

 

Everyday I’m left without you.

 

And I can’t change something that’s forever gone

I can’t alter a puzzle with a missing piece

That disappeared somewhere

Unknown

Alone

And never again to be seen.

 

But it doesn’t matter anymore

I don’t care about the trifle things

There’s no value in picking up a feather

When you’ve got weight on your shoulders

It’ll only push you down further

Until all you can see is the ground

Completely forgetting                                                        

There’s a bright sky above you

Slowly disappearing

As the sun says goodbye to the moon.

 

But the good thing about the moon

Is that it still shines bright enough

For us to see

As if to say to me,

“Darling, don’t be scared of the darkness, now.

The sun is gone for the night

But I’m still watching over you tonight.

And when you wake tomorrow,

You’ll find that I, too,

Disappear quietly into the abyss.

But you’ll have the sun to talk to

And I’ll still be around.

Have faith

That you’ll see me again.”

 

And like the moon, I have faith in you

That one day I will see you

Not in my dreams

Not in my mind

But in a treasured place

In my heart.

 

I guess I never realized my own strength

Until I was left alone

To find my way back home

I never even realized I was gone

And how far I had traveled

Away from you all

How did I get to this unhappy place?

 

It doesn’t matter now

It’s gone

The pain is gone

Though it’s been replaced

With a new pain

One so great

I lose sight of my faith

In you

The universe

And me

But I have the power

To change my fate

To change myself

And the world I live in

To feel more positive

And make the world

Feel just as good.

 

I crumbled to pieces the day I lost you

I was already cracking

Before you even got on that plane

And left

               Me alone.

But I’ve built myself up again

I built me a shelter, too

Maybe I’m scared of crumbling again

But the good thing is

I’ve plastered on a smile

As bright as the moon.

 

And I’ll never again

Lose faith in you.