One decision to text me a story

Changed

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Then our phones constantly went off.

RING! RING! RING!

We typed away fearlessly, knowing we’d never hear a scoff.

 

We longed to share every detail of our day,

Every joke, every memory, every thing.

It was like we crawled into each other’s minds and saw the same way.

The tales we wove made our smiles shine and heart sing.

Our conversations went from spanning hours to weeks.

With you only a text away,

My heart had nothing else to seek.

 

Suddenly,

You became mine,

And I became yours…

...And we were blind to the sign

That solely texting would make our verbal conversations comparable to wars.

 

While I gabbed away about any ridiculous topic,

I strived to always listen,

And my emotions stayed trapped in a cylinder, kaleidoscopic.

The only way you noticed anything was wrong was seeing my eyes glisten...

 

And I stayed silent.

Finally,

I couldn’t take it anymore;

I wanted to shatter my kaleidoscope of silence,

So I silenced the thoughts that told me my emotions were a bore,

Certain you’d respond with complete compliance.

 

...But as soon as the words poured out…

I was flooded with regret.

I just longed to be held

And told not to fret.

 

Instead I was told not to talk of such things anymore…

What got shattered that day was my reliance.

 

So I stayed silent.

 

You spoke of your feelings so poetically,

Yet I spoke of mine so pathetically.

While we both spoke the language of love,

My dialect was from the east and yours the west.

Not knowing which dialect fit our relationship like a glove,

We constantly argued which was best.

 

The words jumped around in my chest,

Longing to be free,

But my brain told them to give it all a rest,

Knowing you never truly loved me.

 

You later asked why I couldn’t talk to you.

I couldn’t find the words to say that I was consumed with regret.

We couldn’t figure out what to do…

I never felt safe or was told not to fret…

 

I never told you that the words that fill the silence you rue,

Was for you to say,

“Talk to me…

… because I love you.”