Because I Lived

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I feel too deeply,

I feel too much.

Empathy, Sympathy, Affinity...

Whatever this curse is called.

I put forth so much effort into loving you,

Into loving every form of precious life that surrounds me,

That I have no time to love myself.

Envious of everyone.

Self esteem at an all time low.

Agony is brought upon by those I love the most.

Not a soul on this earth has ever been content with me.

Every time someone turns away from me, chooses someone else,

Every time I catch your gaze upon others,

With that loving gaze I so desperately crave to receive for myself,

The void in my heart expands...

Until I realized

Happiness is a decision.

A decision I became strong enough to make.

Why should I suffer when I can

Flourish,

Thrive,

Endure.

I want to die,

Because I lived.

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