Layers of makeup coat my anxious cheeks,
Tutus glimmer under the incandescence.
An eerie silence follows applause,
Then darkness pours into the wings.
I am forced to face my fate.
Wide-eyed and paralyzed by racing thoughts,
A numbness I cannot break,
My legs rush onward without my head.
No, no, no.
I cannot move; don’t make me.
Blue shocks rush up my arms,
I am pushed on stage. “Go Abby.”
The world stops. I am suspended in time.
My heart jumps and I gasp for air.
Ashamed by the fear encompassing me.
Twisting melodies penetrate my ears,
This is it: Fight or flight.
I lick my lips. I breathe. I release.
Time fast forwards and I am present.
Exposed in front of everyone,
I confidently push through movement.
Soaring into the chill auditorium air,
Cascading downward into place.
A sensation of joy overcomes me,
Embodied by yellow.
Yellow rays shoot out my fingertips and chest.
I am Beaming. I release. I just dance.
My arms swirl like yellow ribbons,
My legs as sharp as a yellow spark.
I feel my mind slow and my smile grow.
I am not afraid.
This is me in purest form,
Lost in the music, victim to the song.
A timid artistic trapped in worries,
Set free by the fluorescence of spotlights.