To Be Heard


All I want in this life of sin,
Is me and my boyfriend,
All I want in this world,
Is to be a pretty girl,
All I want from you,
Is those brand new pairs of shoes,
All I want from him,
Is to be lusted after as though it's not a sin,
All I want from me,
Is for one second to not feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs,
In a sound proof room,
Can you hear me?
Do I matter?
Do you care?
If I can't feel the wind tickle my hair,
Or see the flowers bloom,
Or even smell the air?
Do you know?
Do you know how it feels to have no one?
No one?
You had yourself all by yourself for so long you realized why everyone else gave up on you,
so you give up on you too...
So you have no one.
To look in the mirror, see a reflection and wish that you were a vampire,
You wish that you were literally invisible,
So that at least how you felt could match the body you are trapped inside,
I'm a mime,
I'm not trapped in an invisible box,
I'm not drowning in a sea of air,
Or being pulled by an imaginary string,
I am mute,
Imprisoned by my skin,
With a soul who's lost her voice from screaming within,
With no one to hear,
With no one to care,
With literally not another soul there,
You can pinch my skin or pull my hair,
But lifeless I will stand,
And blankly I will glare,
Into a sea of intoxicating air,
Strung up by the imaginary string that holds me there,
To be heard screaming by absolutely no one,
Literally no one,
Because I can't even hear me anymore,
And now I sit and wonder if I'm now gone deaf from my frightened screams for acknowledgment or if I lost my voice to the point it can never be restored,
All I have ever wanted,
All I think I could need,
Is for someone to put a bandaid on me when I bleed,
But wait,
I need them to read the words spelled out by my blood,
If a bandaid is all they have to spare,
After my open heart destruction surgery and vocal chord node adhesion operation,
Then please just read the words,
The words created by my spilled pain,
"Let me go,
Let me be free to roam with the angels,
To soar with the birds,
Let me be,
Because I've lived a life screaming in silence all by myself and I'm tired now,
I want to roam free now just like the birds,
Maybe you'll feel the wind I create because at one point,
All I ever wanted was
To be heard."

Open your ears to the ones around you,
Smiles do not equal happiness,
Sorrow walks behind the bend of your lips,
Tears roll down the eye that's farthest from the closest neighbour,
So many people wish that they could have the world,
But so many just wish for the chance to be heard.


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