I sit in class

Jittery, anxious.

Waiting for the bell to ring.

The supposedly cheery bell chimes an ominous tune.

"Stay in your seats until I dismiss you."

She chimes eerily.

Those words give me a sense of dread

that rivals the effect of the ominous bell.

five minutes until the late bell.

I start tapping my foot.

I'm nervous and impatient. 

I'm going to be late,

again.

"Valentina," she singsongs.

"Sit still. I dismiss you. Not the bell."

Four minutes left.

She lets us go.

I race out the class room. 

I turn down the hall.

I run down the staircase

and manage not to fall.

Three minutes left.

I race the bell.

I race the crowd.

I race time itself.

My next class is all the way across the school.

I'm not going to make it.

Dejection sinks in. 

Students are running down the halls

Holding up their pants.

Holding tight to their books. 

Two minutes.

I'm not even halfway there.

Is there even a point to this?

Im just a freshman.

An insignificant.

An obsolete speck of dust in the universe that is highschool.

One minute.

I'm out of time. 

I wont make it. 

If she hadn't of held me back.

If she'd have just let me go. 

That isn't fair.

I should see guidance.

The late bell rings.

Guidance is there to listen.

Your counselors are there for you.

"How can I help?" Chimes the overexcited counselor, in the same tone as the teacher.

I start to explain. 

I stop.

She's unimpressed.

"You should've hurried." She says

"I'll give you a pass this once." She says.

"Get to class." She says.

"Quickly." 

I race to class.

Reenergized.

I would impress the counselor.

I would conform silently.

I walk in to class silently.

The teacher pays me no attention.

She doesnt even glance at the pass.

I take the only available seat.

My view from here is obstructed. 

All I can see is the back of this guy's head.

I try to tell her.

That I cant see.

But she pays me no mind.

So I sit and stare at the back of his head.

Because there's so much sh*t you cant say to your teacher.

Like,

"This is unfair"

"You're wrong"

"You have no right"

"This is all bull."

"You're full of bull." 

"This system is bull."

I just sit there. 

I keep it in. 

I zone out of the lecture.

Into the dreadful chorus of doom in my head.

I sit there quietly,

staring at the back of his head.