In the event I die tonight,
I’m telling you I love you
So that if I’m truly gone tomorrow,
I’ll have no regrets
On the way to heaven.
And when I find those pearly gates,
I could tell Gabriel to blow his horn
As a signal to you,
To let you know

That fireflies are magical,
And bees ride miniature broomsticks,
That’s how they fly.
I could let you know
If you’ll actually need any of the math
You learned in high school.
I could let you know where our cat went,
Or why our apartment
Smelled like cinnamon.
I could let you know
Why the people who lived below us
Hated the color purple,
Or exactly when the boardwalk is the prettiest.
I could let you know
What kind of fireworks
Our baby boy likes most,
Or where the word,
‘Oreo’
Really came from.

Of course,
We’re only wondering now.
We don’t have any of these answers.
But when I die, I could ask God
If I could write you a letter
And tell you all the answers.
But I don’t think I will.
Cause when I die,
I’ll have the pride of knowing the answers
While you’re stuck here wondering.

In the event I die tonight,
I’m telling you I love you,
So that if I’m truly gone tomorrow,
I’ll have no regrets
On the way to heaven.
And when I find those pearly gates,
I will tell Gabriel to blow his horn
As a signal to you,
To let you know

That I know all the answers,
And you don’t,
So I’m claiming bragging rights.