Why did I have to be named Yoshi
It’s the only Japanese name that Americans recognize
Named after some stupid Mario Brothers character
Yes, my name is Yoshi
I was not born in Japan
I was born in Connecticut
Don’t be surprised that I don’t have an accent
I do happen to speak four languages with fluency
I graduated at the top of my class at MIT
I read A Brief History of Time before you rotated your first tire
I’m smarter than you and I’m not afraid to tell it to your face

Sorry if I seem bitter
I'm orbiting the earth at 17,500 miles an hour
And I have space crabs