We're getting married in a couple of months
I'm so excited
So nervous
But
So much stress
So many nights crying myself to sleep
I've kept in so much
I've bitten my tongue so much I teast blood
I hold in my breath Im starting to get dizzy spells more and more
I'm getting annoyed more and more
How can you be so dense?
I get it your a loving person
I usto be to
But I don't want to cuddle all the time in bed
I want to go out
Plan something for a change ...
Don't just use the excuses of
Oh I don't have friends
Oh I don't go out much
Oh I don't know where to begin looking
Oh I don't know what you like
Oh I don't know if I work
Oh I don't have the car today
All I hear after every conversation is
I'm sorry bby
Ik bby I'm sorry
I really am sorry
Aahhhh!!!!
Make it stop
I'm tired of the word sorry
It gives me so much anxiety
.... I feel like I don't matter
I'm just second to everything
Not a priority....
But no I can't share my emotions because then you start with yours
Always saying your a loner
Family doesn't really include you
Don't have much friends
Nothing to talk about
Nothing really changes
Then I feel like the bad guy
I feel like I'm just complaining
And that you have to fix it
You don't!!
Just do something
Say something
I feel my energy leave my body more and more
So much on my plate
The wedding
The planing
Making sure everything goes well
Work
Socal life and even if you want to call it that
Our relationship
You don't give me time to cool down
You don't give me my space
....
Am I rushing into things?