Am I
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Savy12
With eyes wide open and
lips slightly parted
i think of myself
what am i
who am i
where will i go after
4 years of sitting in a class
staring out the window past my fears
and onward to the unknown
i am a nobody
a speck in my class of 973
but voted "best dressed" by people i barely have the courage to talk to
and that is what i am to them
some type of middle-class fashion maven
who they have no idea struggles with more than having to choose my outfit for the next day
if only they could see me now
writing this while wearing sweats and an oversized shirt to hide myself
from their preying, judgmental eyes
do they see past that
do they care that i am more than the clothes that conceal my insecurities
and regrets
of course not
at times i let this get to me
i want them to see me for me
LOOK
THROUGH
ME
AND
UNDERSTAND
i shout to nobody but myself
but that's ok
all i need is my own voice
to push against the tides of
fear regret pain
selfishness and ignorance
i am to them
another girl
pushing through the warm bodies
of a crowded hall
during a five minute passing
period
i am to them
another student systemized by
deadlines applications standardized tests
that is what i am now
now- but not forever
i am More
i am my best friend who never
fails to give me patience and acceptance
i am the books that give me solace
from reality's truth
i am the memories found
when walking through my grandma's house
i am the people who promised me forever but
only gave me months
i am More than the
numbers that reign
supreme over my individuality