With eyes wide open and 

lips slightly parted 

i think of myself

what am i

who am i

where will i go after 

4 years of sitting in a class

staring out the window past my fears

and onward to the unknown

i am a nobody

a speck in my class of 973

but voted "best dressed" by people i barely have the courage to talk to 

and that is what i am to them

some type of middle-class fashion maven 

who they have no idea struggles with more than having to choose my outfit for the next day 

if only they could see me now

writing this while wearing sweats and an oversized shirt to hide myself

from their preying, judgmental eyes  

do they see past that

do they care that i am more than the clothes that conceal my insecurities 

and regrets 

of course not

at times i let this get to me

i want them to see me for me 

LOOK 

THROUGH

ME

AND 

UNDERSTAND

i shout to nobody but myself 

but that's ok

all i need is my own voice

to push against the tides of 

fear regret pain 

selfishness and ignorance

i am to them 

another girl 

pushing through the warm bodies

of a crowded hall 

during a five minute passing 

period

i am to them

another student systemized by

deadlines applications standardized tests

that is what i am now 

now- but not forever

i am More

i am my best friend who never 

fails to give me patience and acceptance 

i am the books that give me solace

from reality's truth

i am the memories found 

when walking through my grandma's house 

i am the people who promised me forever but

only gave me months

i am More than the 

numbers that reign 

supreme over my individuality