Alive But Not Living
I am alive but not living.
I went from active high schooler,
To college loner.
I went from painted on beauty,
To bare, uncovered ugly.
I went from living in the moment,
To unable to remember moments at all.
I went from blissful thoughts,
To an unstable mind.
I went from caring and sweet,
To cold and distracted.
I used to look forward to the future,
To dreading the thought of tomorrow.
I used to have passion and drive running through my veins,
To only have the blood and sadness coarse through my brain.
I used to love the kindness of world,
To only seeing the dark corruptiveness in the universe.
I used see the beauty in every single soul,
To only being able to see the flaws and damaging hearts.
I used to love the company of others and being surrounded by every individual,
To intensive craving of lonesome and quietness.
I used to think life was full of color and openness,
To believing it is trapped square of black and white.
I used to never want my life to change, not one bit,
To praying everyday that tomorrow will be different.
I used to carefree, loving the blessed life I was given,
To being filled with anger with what my young life is turning into.
I used to never believe in the darkness, it could not get me,
To believing the darkness will never go away, it will never leave me.
This is darkness in my bones, bones that were once strong.
This is the darkness that has washed over the once smiling minds of many.
This is the darkness that can not be ignored.
But this is the darkness that can turn forgiving.
This is the darkness that will be beat, that will have me and so many others,
Alive and finally living.