Alive to Love

When years stretch away empty,
your dreams start to die.
Kicked often enough,
you forget how to try.
Things that used to be urgent
don't matter so much.
Friends drift away.
Somehow you lose touch.
Years quickly slip past
and disillusioned I've grown.
I looked up one day,
to find myself all alone.
At first, I told myself,
I was glad to be free.
No cares and no worries,
no responsibilities.
Then, I started to wonder,
why everyone was gone.
And if maybe, it was my fault,
nobody stayed on.
Then came the resentment.
" Why'd they do this to me?"
Frustration and loneliness,
anger and self- pity.
I swore not to let anybody,
ever hurt me again.
I blocked off my heart
and let nobody in.
With people all around,
I was a hermit, in fact.
In fear of being hurt,
I shunned all contact.
Then came that sweet someone,
who shattered my wall.
My carefully built barriers,
I watched crumble and fall.
Stubbornly, I struggled
afraid I would win,
yet desperately longing
to let this love in.
So forgive me, my darling,
if I've been a bit slow,
admitting I love you
and telling you so.
For so long I've been certain,
caring brings only pain
It's taken all my courage
to try love again.
Once more I'm alive
for which I thank you sincerely.
At last I can say,
" I love you dearly!"
I give you my heart,
though the giving comes hard.
Guard it carefully my love,
for it's fragile and scarred.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Annette M Velasquez

One of my oldest poems, from nearly 30 years ago! I'm going through old manuscripts, notebooks and my publications, digging up things from decades past... to show my changing style, the development of style; perhaps there's a lesson in poetics there, for someone.

Jan Wienen

Thank you. So refreshing ...

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741