Alex
I remember before
I tied my heart
in knots for you.
It's blurred and grey,
But the memory
Is not quite forgotten.
When your tide took me under
And drowned me
I swallowed all the water
and I choked.
You had me cast
under your spell.
The days when you never arrived,
I grieved.
Like a lost dog,
I'd carry about.
Wandering and wondering.
How would life carry on?
My dependence on you
Was that of the entire earth
Waiting on the sun to rise each day
And cast a warm glow over all the people.
My "want" for your time
Became more of a "need"
And I was soon long gone
Addicted to your attention.
Standing in the pouring rain
On a Friday night in May,
I told you how I felt about you.
You were numb with no response.
I realized
how much of a fool I'd been
When it was too late.
You had left,
suitcase and all
Never to return.
Days to weeks
Weeks to months
I finally pulled myself together.
I no longer craved for your attention
And no longer cried
when you never showed your face.
But it's been 4 months
And I've become so strong.
I no longer look dead.
I am alive and living.
I don't need you.
Here we are,
Standing in the pouring rain
On a Friday night in September.
Just like that night in May.
And you're asking for my time
and for my attention.
And sweetly saying,
"When can I see you again?"
But the real question
To twist your mind around is:
How do you say no
To a man you once loved
That you depended on
And cared so deeply for
That you can no longer trust?