8 years can fly by like a passing train,
They can be full of happiness and sun,
Or they can be full of depression and rain
Sometimes your thoughts can be overrun,
With memories from that night,
That cold night that made you want to curl into a ball.
The night that made you want to hide from the light,
Made you want to go back to the fall,
When he was still here.
When his laugh still floated through the halls,
When his hugs were still there,
To keep the monster under the bed at bay.
When you had no idea,
That he was smiling during the day,
But drinking his problems away at night.
He had 40 years of cries for help,
40 years of trying to hide his fright,
40 years that were not felt.
You had 8 years of his smiles,
8 years of double checked seatbelts,
8 years of nighttime books.
Now you put up a shield,
A shield of doubt and untrustworthy looks,
The shatterproof shield of heartbreak that cannot be healed.
Now you have taken his place,
The unanswered cries for help,
Your feelings have been misplaced.
Now it’s time for another 8 years,
8 more years of visiting his final resting place,
8 more years of tears.
8 more years will fly by like a train,
Then another 8 years will be at bat,
They will be as cold as rain.
They will be as nimble as a cat,
As empty as air,
The void will never go away.
The void that was once filled with his care,
It will get larger and larger day by day,
Your unrehearsed coping skills were never ready for the void.
8 years and yet it seems like yesterday,
That dad came home to tell you the news,
The news that would inevitably shatter your entire life.
There were no more hues,
The disappearance of his laugh cut through you like a knife,
His final decision has haunted you for years
You now feel the emptiness that he knew so well,
The emptiness that he tried to fill with beers,
But no one can tell.
For 8 years you have been a tragic copy,
Of what his life had once been,
Your mind is constantly foggy.
Your thoughts always lead back to that night,
That cold foreseen evening,
When your life was stricken of light
When your life began bending,
When your laugh disappeared,
When your feelings went blank.
When what you always feared,
Became a terrifying reality,
When the light of your life was snuffed out.
When that void became a sea,
When you mind was forever filled with doubt,
When you life inevitably became a fractured void.