2016 was a year of L's. On average I took an L every other month. Which means I learned from 6 L's that I wanna share with y'all.
L1 - people are fickle. They don't really know what they want. They will tell you that they love and care for you. That they'll always be there but in my experience most of the people who will utter these words will leave your life as easily as dying leaves off branches in fall. They will lay collecting at the bottom of your tree of life, withering away like your connection to them. But I learned that it's okay for those leaves to leave our trees because they provide us with the nourishment for those structures in our lives that have stayed. Those that may not be as visible and are taken for granted but have always held us down, kept us grounded. Your roots. Cherish them.
L2 - You're capable of doing things that you didn't think you would. And that's not always a positive thing. I know I did many things in 2016 that empowered me. That made me proud of myself. That gave me an adrenaline rush, making me sick to my stomach with nerves and excitement like performing my poetry on stage for the first time ever. But I also did things that I'm ashamed of. Things that leave me conflicted and confused and I realised that when put in certain situations with the right conditions we're all capable of doing things that we know would hurt those we love. When it comes down to it we are innately selfish beings, born in sin and shaped in iniquity, and we are all capable of acting as such. No matter the consequences. Remember there will always be consequences to your actions. Which brings me to..
L3 - actions really do speak louder than words. You need to believe people when they tell you and show you who they are. More often than not they're telling the truth. Going back to those that hurt you only ends badly for you. They've shown that in the grand scheme of things you're not that important or valuable to them. So continually trying to prove your value to those who don't appreciate you is pointless. Know that their lack of appreciation does in no way take away from your value because even a fool knows when it's gold but not everybody knows what to do with the riches they are blessed with and so end up squandering them. Some day, someone will recognise your worth and know what to do to get the best out of you. Wait on it.
L4 - obsessing will get you no where. Not every question has or needs an answer. Some questions are better left unanswered. And wasting your energy on trying to find an answer, won't help you. There is no answer that will satisfy your need to understand. There is no reason that will bring you peace. Attempting to complete a puzzle without all the pieces will always leave more questions than answers. Never a full picture. Some things you just won't know. You cant understand. And that's okay. I learned that we have to let go and let God otherwise we will drive ourselves deeper and deeper into the unforgiving pit of depression and insanity. And trust me once you go black you never go back and it's very hard to find the light again.
L5 - growing hurts. You have to be able to grow in less than ideal conditions. Life isn't always 78 degrees, sunny, with a slight breeze to the northwest. You won't always be acclimatised to the environment. Sometimes life is gonna burn you. Making you combust, but like the Phoenix you will rise again from your ashes to be a stronger more refined you.
But should life give you the cold shoulder. Leaving you alone in the darkness, endless storm clouds hovering above you, no light to guide you. Drowning in the fog of loneliness and solitude. Lost. Remember it's in that darkness that you'll find yourself, look inside yourself and know that you'll be stronger once the sun comes back around.
L6 - Underestimating God.
This was probably my biggest transgression. God will never take you anywhere he cant get you back from. When you're in your dark place he's looking for your response to him, not your solution. He already knows the way out. He wants to use your darkness to show you His light. Which means that you're already destined to rise above the darkness. Be confident in who your Father is and know he's been guiding you through your struggles, even if you haven't always seen or felt him. He has been providing you with everything that you need to make it, and you will.
Because even though it may seem like 2016 was sponsored by the letter L, I learned that every L isn't just one L. It's two. It's a Life Lesson. Life may not always be good to us but it's always good for us. We can't learn and grow without some adversity. And like the writing on my ribs, this too shall pass and instead of hoping that another year will pass without any L's. I challenge you to look forward to them. Because at least this time, you might learn something.