10:24 at night

My life changed when I forced puke up my throat

When it was 80 degrees and I still wore a coat


When I would starve myself until I couldn't move

I was so close to death and had no clue


I was only 12 when diagnosed with my eating disorder

It seemed over night I grew much older


From riding my bike with purple flames

To multiple doctors drawing blood from my veins

From singing loud when nobody is home

To not even being able to pee alone


I realized everything I had done

The damage I caused my body so young

All to be skinny

One big illusion


Now eighteen I look back at those days

I thank my mom for her forgiving ways

She knows I was not myself

I was in a haze


Letting go of ED was a hard battle to fight

But I won

So I write this poem at 10:24 at night


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