10

 

My first normal day in years

If you could call it that

I’ve been in and out of hospitals

With test and treatments and monitors and ivs

Always getting better and worse and better and worse

I dont think im getting better this time

 

9

 

The treatments aren't working anymore

All the tests say the same thing

Terminal

I don't know how long i have but i'm not just gonna sit around and wait

I finally get to live a normal life

At least for a little bit

 

8

 

Im at the park

I can't even remember the last time I was at a park

The slide, the swings, the little play castle

They all seem like something out of a daydream

My little brother leads me to his favorite spot

The little pirate ship complete with steering wheel and telescope

He tells me he's glad i'm better so we can play

I dont have the heart to tell him the truth

 

7

 

We run to the slide and take turns

Climb up, slide down

Climb up, slide down

Over and over again

As fast as we can

Then to the castle where he says I'm the princess and hell be my knight

It's been so long

Since we've played make believe

 

6

 

We race to the swings and fight to go the fastest

Up and down and up again

We gain speed

Momentum

Height

I hear him laughing next to me as loud as he can

Pushing with all his might to go higher

 

5

 

Somethings not right

I feel weird

No

Probably just a headache

Maybe i'm dizzy from the running

It'll be fine

I keep swinging

 

4

 

I swing higher and higher with every push

So high I could pull down a cloud

I swing higher

The world disappears

Higher

The sun is in my grasp

Higher

This is the best day of my life

 

3

 

No it isn't

The best day of my life was

The day I was born

The day I started school

The day I stayed home and mom gave me ice cream for breakfast

The day of my first school play

The day I had my first crush

The day he broke my heart and daddy told me it'd be okay

And it was

No

The day my baby brother smiled for the first time

The day we watched his first band recital

The i helped him get ready for his first school dance

 

2

 

This is not the best day of my life

This is the day i wasted my last 10 minutes

With flights of fantasy

The day they told me I had months but only gave me a week

The day all my bests were ripped away

And I was left with only the worst

Like the day I fell off the swingset and broke my arm

Or they day I got sick and couldn't go on the school field trip

Or the day I went to the doctor for a headache and found out I had cancer

The day my brother cried in daddy's arm

Asking if his sister was gonna die

All the days I cried myself to sleep

To the sound of my mother's tears in the next room

But this is the worst day of my life

The day I was robbed of any other bests or worsts

 

1

 

This is the day that time deceived me

The day that gave me 10 more minutes

Instead of thousands

The day that flashed every minute of my life before my eyes until-

 

0