10

Once upon a time, there was a Wizard and a Fairy Princess

They were best of friends

They had known each other since the beginning of time, and

Even though the two friends were complete opposites,

together they were a force to be reckoned with.

 

Through the years, they had many adventures together

Some were successful:

The Countless birthday parties, held in their secret tree house so only the two of them knew

When they used special shoes and hats to ride on magical beasts called Horses

When She taught him the skill paramount for survival in the magical forest: Tree Climbing

The time they journeyed to the ocean and used magical outfits to breathe under the water.

Others didn’t exactly end happily ever after:

The week long adventure on the mountain where she broke her arm

The first time that they went on a vast and dangerous adventure across the frozen lake; they had to wear special shoes and everything; and he twisted his ankle

The time they ventured to a skatepark and  he tried to teach her how to ride a magic carpet with 4 wheels  and she broke 4 bones in her foot

To be a kid again

 

But, as it usually does, time happened,

and as the two grew older

And they grew apart.

 

In high school,

they found each other again

They got close to where they were before,

but never entirely.

 

Then junior year happened.

Suddenly, he was gone from her.

She heard nothing

for weeks.

After a while she found out what had happened.

That was when the rumors started.

Rumors about what he did.

with that girl and to that girl.

All were truly awful.

She refused to believe any of them,

she still believed in him.

Still.

 

That was her mistake.

She stuck by him and defended him the best she could,

even when nobody else would,

But often times, she ended up as another victim with a target on her back.

The rumors started about her too.

About them.

 

Her friends stuck by her.

At least, they tried to.

At least, they tried to.

 

Eventually everything died down

but it took its toll on them both.

She was left in the dark of it all.

She was told nothing. From anybody.

She felt powerless.

She was powerless.

She was depressed.

and

she was suicidal.

 

She told nobody.

She fought with it on her own.

After 8 months of feeling nothing but pain and suffering that lies in emptiness

she couldn’t take it anymore

One night she found herself standing on the edge of the roof of her house

teetering

And she almost couldn’t stop herself from ending it all.

But she didn’t.

Not yet at least.

 

She didn’t know exactly how it affected him

to this day she doesn’t

he never told her his story

Why should he?

And she didn’t want to know.

 

After enough time passed,

She believed that she was starting to recover.

 

When the depression came, she felt nothing

and she hasn’t felt since.

Not happiness nor anger nor joy.

Just the pain emptiness

She was okay with that.

She didn’t think that she had a choice.

She believed that the two came through it together.

 

That summer came and went in a flash.

Nothing much happened,

they both had jobs and were saving to go to college somewhere far away,

far from the people, the rumors, everything.

 

The next fall, they both went to new schools,

But they’d met up all the time,

They’d go for walks in the park,

out to coffee or food,

or just sit on his couch and talk for hours on end

and one day she woke up and realized she started to have feelings for him.

Slowly she grew in love with him

and she wished for him to love her back

and they talked about being more than friends one day.

Then in the next four days,

everything changed.

He would keep her up until one o’clock in the morning

with his poems and powerful words

 

And she felt something.

 

It was all too soon.

She wanted him to slow down,

but she couldn’t say so.

The fourth night is when it happened.

 

They met up at his house

He was waiting for her

His parents weren’t home

She tried to say ‘no’ but her voice didn’t work

She couldn't get away

And what he did to her was truly awful

 

That night the rumors that they fought so desperately to get away from were made true.

 

The worst part was knowing what was going to happen

and knowing that there wasn’t a thing that she could do to stop him

 

Afterwards She was in shock.

It was all too much for her.

She wanted to go home

-needed to get out of there

But before he let her,

he made her promise not to tell anyone.

She promised.

She still wanted to believe

but she couldn’t.

 

She broke.

 

8 Months of her life fighting the depression and the suicide.

2 months of what she thought was success.

10 months.

All at once she was flooded with emotion as she felt nothing and everything at the same time

and the pain and suffering of emptiness and everything that came with the depression and the suicide came back 10fold.

 

She remembered how she kept looking at a stain on the ceiling, memorizing it so she didn’t have think about what was being done to her.

She remembered that when she tried to get away he took that to mean that he wasn’t doing enough so he’d do it more, faster, and harder and along with it there was so much pain.

She remembered that in that moment she wasn’t the girl he had known his whole life.

She remembered that in that moment everything that they’d been through together meant nothing and she was nothing to him. Just a thing to be used for his pleasure and enjoyment.

 

She cried for hours

and basically couldn’t function.

For 10 days.

All the while she kept thinking that she should have seen it.

She should have realized as soon as his personality had changed so suddenly

That he thought of her for something else

He was always a little forceful, but she didn’t think him capable…

She trusted him…

Was it her fault?

Why did she go into his room?

He didn’t give her a choice.

Why didn’t she fight back? She couldn’t, he was too strong for her.

Why didn’t she scream? She did. She just wasn’t loud enough.

Why didn’t she do more?

What more could she have done?

How could she have been so blind?

What happened to that Wizard and Fairy princess from so long ago?

All these thoughts and more consumed her mind.

It was bad enough she was a victim of him, but she wouldn’t let herself

become a victim of her mind and herself too.

 

It was then she decided it was too much.

She had to stop it once and for all.

She needed to get away from it all,

and she needed it to be final.

So she- I- sat down and started to write.