I was once untouchable, until he touched me and took everything.
All he had to do was lift a finger to cast my soul dead.
Tears would not flow but blood would shed because
We were no longer equal.
I’d given him power without losing grip of my own
He’d taken my strength deceiving my mind
All the while I thought I was in control.
Played chess on my membranes, leaving my wide open,
Legs crossed, lips sealed, cards folded
Beaten by depression, bounded by emotion.
My pride, pride was the only thing that dried rivers to swamps
Tongue biting and jaw clenching I could feel my teeth cracking into my throat.
Knocking down words muffling tears, constantly trying to break that ice sculpture
Beating within me.
Who I used to be now walked in the shadows beside me
And the reflection of who I am today left my traumatized.
I have tried to climb the mountains of redemption
But he stands at the top.
His eyes cutting my flesh as I bleed hate onto the grass of life.
Although they tell me my wombs will heal I know for myself,
Only scabs of self-esteem will peel.
Our father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom
Come thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
His actions sting my eyes popping my ears asking me
Who am I praying to! For he is my god.
My soul, my once ruthless soul cries, yet I show no mercy.
Stronger than the lion himself I look him into his never to face to defeat.
But to acknowledge I can never be defeated.
I dangle from stings, suffer from paranoia, and I wear perfume of death.
I am afraid of the dark and the light, afraid for my life, afraid to live.
For he is who holds my fate, he wants to torture instead of kill.
Never letting me go freely because he admires his work of art.
Stapling words of disrespect and actions of foolishness to my back
I ask God to forgive him, forgive him for he does not know
That by rotting the fruits of my labor he perishes himself.
And although i am shoved into a black hole I am aware of my surroundings
While he is lost,
He will never win for I have already won, he will never be better
For I have already claimed best.
And he is not bully for he puts no fear in my heart.
Such an oxymoron it is protected by fire and ice.
He lifts his finger and gets burned, looks into my eyes and sees courage.
Glimpses at my posture and recognizes a fighter.
Senses my smile and it sends him vexed.
So you see, he can touch my body, he can touch my mind.
He can touch my soul, lord knows I do not want him to touch my soul
But he can touch my soul, and take my soul
But he can not touch my heart.
For I am untouchable.