I don’t know how
to cope right now
I’ve got a blade in my palm
an urge in my body
too many feelings in my brain
and so many things I didn’t say

I’ve got the mechanism to cope
but a fear to start it up again
an addiction I can’t conrtol
can only hide
and hide from

Too many words choking me
so many thoughts running circles

Another regret to add to
a short, short list
slowly growing by the years

I’ve found a person who won’t run
my emotional outlet I can’t count on
a sense of loss that won’t abate

A purpose to which I can’t even relate

Got one thing on my mind in this second
keeping urges in check for the moment

Eyes ahead, focused, motivated

I’ve got nothing left to lose
and so much to gain.