Just breathe. 
Remind myself people always leave. 
This time I have two heartbeats and one is in pain. The other is wrapped in chains. Just to keep it from being opened. 
Too pure to end up broken. 
I cant let it come undone for the sake of my child. 
Life’s wild. 
My heart beats for her and it feels so heavy. 
So my heart pumps more love strong and steady. 
It’s heavy bc I had a plan for her memories and traditions. 
Dancing and cooking with her mommies in the kitchen. 

I’m sorry she doesn’t want to dance anymore. 

I’m sorry, please don’t be mad that when she left I held open and then locked the door. 

I can’t break my gaze into your soul I can see in your eyes. 

I had to stop asking why she won’t try. 

Why she could look at us together and not see the immeasurable blessings. 

I’m sorry mommy had to learn this lesson.
My vows were not a poem I read aloud to proclaim my love. 

It was my promise to my God above.

Please put God at the center of your story.

And in pain and happiness find someone who helps you find grace and give God the glory. 

I hope you don’t let someone dim the shine of that soul in your eyes. 

Find someone who always tries.

Mommy will only ever let you see what we deserve in the greatest love. 

Mommy will only let you have the best life she dreamed of. 

Just know I’m doing the best I can.
Learning and teaching to trust in God’s plan.