the air i inhaled

you exhaled 

stealing it from me

as i choked on the dust

of memories you uncovered

from my past as you forced

my hands away from protecting

the realization of my body

you tried to uncover

by prying them away

i was weak

but i never let your present hand

force it's way under my clothes

it found cracks

between my frail legs

so you forced them open

said it would be okay

okay if i was nervous

okay if i was scared

okay if you kept repeating the words

                                                               

                                                                   its okay. you can trust me.

but none of it was okay

you pried my hands away

as if it were some sick game

in which only you could win

and i-

i neither won nor lost

i remembered

why did i have to remember?

i was already remembering

the door just cracked

until you swung it open 

as i tried to lock it

for that and that night, i hate you

-ally