Reflect

I don't know how much longer i can bottle my emotions
When I'm already overflowing.
Give me a new cup
Give me something to pour
My Past. My Present. And knowing that the next day will be no different from the day before.
Loneliness. Loveless. Friendless. Homeless.
I've dealt with it all. Over and Over.
And yet, it comes back.
Always.

The Loneliness.
I've learned to fall in love with the Emptiness. So deeply.
Who said loneliness was a bad thing?
The Loveless.
Slowly, I am learning.
It seems I never learn to stop yearning for that affection.
That sickening affection that eats at me
Lures me towards it, but never meets me halfway.
I'm tired of it. I can't stand it.
Yet.. i hear it's cruel call. Waiting for me.
To come. To follow. And get lost, over and over.
Love? There's no such thing.
It's just..Emotional Abuse.
Cut it out. Rip it up. Erase it!
It doesn't exist for me. It doesn't want me. It never did, and never will.
So, I don't need it. Fill me with an adventure.
And I'd never have to think of it again.

The Friendless.
Unless you count bullies, Never.
Books are my only friend.
I hid in the library nearly my entire life.
Shelves wrapped their protective arms around me.
Books hid my presence.
Beautiful..
Beautiful novels everywhere. Inviting me to Dream along with them.
But..it was only a Dream.
Sooner of later, I'd wake up. Whether i want to or not.
In a place which i must call "Home".
That is no Home. There's no such thing.

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