2016 was my year of discovery

and it wasn't just

discovering friends or anything superficial like that

not to say

that friends are superficial

but anyways

2016

was the year i started discovering

the most fundamental things about myself

who i loved

and how i loved them

and how not everyone's gonna accept that

and that i'm just gonna have to live with that

it was also when i pushed myself

pushed myself to love myself more

because many others sure wouldn't 

and yeah

it hurt

a lot

and i haven't made much progress

but it's progress nonetheless

2016 was the year where i got angry

and let those turbulent emotions take over

let the colors and fear and rage swirl around me

like a hurricane

and sure i felt powerful

for standing up for myself and others in similar situations 

let it build up until it burst out

and crashed like an airplane out of fuel

and i was left a sobbing mess

curled up in my moms bed

hardly responsive and beside myself with the worst emotions

but i was still angry

angry at the world

for letting a tyrant take control

for refusing to grow and change

for turning a deaf ear

and looking away

when people hurt those

who were already hurting 

i got angry at others 

for pushing me past the breaking point 

for thinking that i was there

for them to push around

and i'm trying to grow past that anger

but it's hard, man,

its hard.