Are You happy? Honestly, are you?

What makes you happy? See happiness never came easy to me. I always had stuff going on. I was only six years old and Mike, a supposed to be step father, shoved me in a plastic container so I couldn’t breathe. He would abuse my mom and I and get enjoyment out of it as a dog gets when he has a chew toy or a new bone made out of a robust flavor of meat. Years past and finally there wasn’t a Mike. We left that disturbed house and left him in it, with our broken souls to find new life.

Dave came into the picture and he was a cool dad. He made Connor, my little brother. Mom and I were finally happy. Well almost. We had to move again because of how short on money we were. We moved to another place that was cheaper, but that didn’t last for long. We moved a year in a half later. I’m not going to sugar coat this either. We were broke. We had to live with Dave’s parents, and let me tell you, that was a struggle.

Mom started to get sick. She had a brain tumor and it was killing her slowly. By the time I was twelve I had seen the world as it was. I didn’t have a childhood honestly, because I knew 2 men in my life who were less than a man, a coward to be exact. My Father left me before I even knew him. Mike was abusive to me. I don’t have scars physically but boy if you took a trip to my brain it would feel like Hiroshima can’t even kill you. Memories live on every day and I am cursed because I can’t run away. On top of all that my heart fell to the bottomless pit as my mom was torn away from my life. She passed away after Dave’s birthday. I was depressed. The only thing I wanted in this world was a family. Yeah I know that family doesn’t have to be blood, but it sure makes you think. Everyone at home has a different last name as me, different face. At first that was hard for me and now I learned to except that. I love them all to death.

Yeah I know, that’s not a happy story. But for someone like me to get up over, and over again after Satan keeps piercing my heart with his serrated red like falcon claws, is why I am strong. Yes, I am happy too because I can be there for others who are feeling pushed on the ground as the dirt splashes on their shirt. At first your plans are rather vindictive, but in my eyes, you need to stay restricted because revenge is never the answer even if life is asking for it. I hold out my hands in need for anyone who needs it. Yes, this world can be a cold biter place, but at the same time it is a beautiful place filled with warm and pleasant lessons. I am Happy because I am strong and there for others.

Are you happy? Honestly, are you?