I'm not sure what it is about her

if it's the way she asserts herself and isn't afraid to be honest

if it's the way she guards herself like someone who's been hurt

if it's the way she seems

just so perfect

 

I don't know if it's her compassion

her heart that rings like gold

or the way she can destroy those who would hurt her

she's scary, or so I'm told

 

Maybe it's something simple

like her weaving, turning hips

Or her eyes that shine like daisies in meadows

or her lips or her hands or her-

god, 

her everything

 

I fuck myself up sideways 

with beautiful

amazing girls

like her

girls who will never love me

 

but god,

do I love her

 

even though I know she doesnt

and probably never will

but I'll try and I'll try and in vain I will try

why?

because I'm a moron

but it's not about me

its all about her