Betray
Betrayal is indeed a bitter pill to swallow
one I never thought I'd have to taste
shows my naivety
betrayal never crossed my mind
so I never thought of it in others
now I ache deep in my heart
and my eyes are burning even as they dry
it was an accident I even heard
that makes it so much worse
they did not know I was even there
they were not aiming to set me to burn
they were not out to tear me down
It happened anyway.
the words they did not silence
the thoughts they could not swallow
the words that echo in my mind
now they cause me doubt
do I really? is this true? would it happen?
my naivety has been proven once,
do I want to chance it proven twice?
my friend once remarked she had only seen my cry the once
I couldn't bear to tell her
-she caused that once, and the twice since
now I can say thrice
I hate my tears
they mock my heart
and call out my simplicity
small barbs in large wounds
I hide my tears again
she did not mean to injure
and I fear showing pain will make it worse
as she has no clue that I even heard
that I left before entering the door
for I could not bear to hear more
Am I really that? Will I really end up...?
these doubts, these questions
I have never entertained before
I feel suspicious, paranoid
uncertain in a sea of black
a sea that allows no sight or feel
never did I consider this
never did I entertain that I might taste
that bitter, bitter pill
Betrayal is a dirty word
and now it's personal.