The Toy Truck Girl

 

When I was five years old

My mom bought my brother a toy truck

He loved to play outside in the dirt in his jeans

And drive it back and forth

 

He would cruise onto other planets

And take trips to dinosaur-infested jungles

Because the outside was limitless

 

I was given a Barbie doll with movable arms

And was told to stay inside

Because “girls shouldn’t get dirty”

So I watched from my bedroom window

While my brother drove through the clouds

And stared at the disproportionate model with confusion

 

Because I couldn’t understand

That just because I was born a girl

And because society wanted me

To be a proper little debutante

It meant that I had to sit and watch

The supposedly smarter, more creative little boys

 

I couldn’t find the rule that said

That young ladies

Had to move Barbie’s arms

While the boys moved mountains

 

When I was seven

I cut all of Barbie’s hair off

And stole my brother’s truck.

 

 

I’m not the only girl that thought this way

Every day wearing on like her dresses

Each of them the same

Her ambitions locked in glass displays

 

I’m not the only girl

That never found pleasure in shopping malls

Or the plastic smiles of TV’s dolls

That questioned why she had to look up to them

They were toys

 

That never dared to drown out the noise

Because if she did

Her bruises would be met with

“Boys will be boys”

 

I’m not the only girl who wondered

Why she couldn’t have a life

To only aspire to be some man’s doting wife

Rife with gossip and beauty

 

Why she had to be the good girl

And twirl her curls

And giggle and say

“I don’t get it, can you help me?”

 

I’m not the only girl that refused to fail

To be frail and fragile and crumble into dust

Just because society wants it so

I’m not weak

I’m not slow

 

I’m a toy truck girl.

And I will not stop breathing

Even if the world turns cold

 

I will wear my soul on my sleeve

And believe in the dreams I dream

Not what I’m told

I’ll be passionate and daring

And brilliant and bold

 

I’m the girl that wants to be feared

With the stardust in her blood

And the sun in her veins

Beating down pain and dangerous words

That they twist to sound sweet

 

I will bring the world to its knees

I will carry my keys in my fist like claws

Because when I walk down the street

I will escape the jaws of the animals that look up my dress

Hey gorgeous

Hey baby

Why don’t you come home with me?

 

I’ll rip down the skies and fly higher than anyone thinks that I should

I would never slow down and even if I could

I can’t imagine being anything

But a toy truck girl.