Cold and impassive

Mask of ice

“But I don’t know anything about you”

Good, she thinks

You’re not supposed to

Smile, don’t get too close

Smile, don’t get too personal

Don’t let it happen again

Take off the mask

Trigger a collapse

That’s how it will end

 

Like clockwork, morning routine

Donning the mask

Eye drops for redness, bottle almost empty

And she herself almost believes it

Like clockwork, every night

Floods of memories

Come to break her

First one crack, then another

In the ice

Until the mask

Has cracked

And she’s left drowning in the collapse

Shoulders jerking

Eyes shut tight to keep in the pain

 

Keep quiet

Don’t let mom know

Don’t let dad know

Don’t let your little sister know

Keep quiet

Keep quiet and don’t let your little sister know

That you’re drowning down below

In the collapse

As the tracks playing loud in her head

Causing the ice to thin

To break, to crack

Causing the collapse

As the track screams loud

As the track cracks the mask

 

See them the next day in the hallway

Give a smile then turn away

Keep on the mask, don’t dare let it crack

How long has it been since the smile was real?

Have you forgotten how to eat?

Have you forgotten how to get a full night’s sleep?

Have you forgotten how to feel?

Have I forgotten how to feel?

Have I forgotten how to get a full night’s sleep?

Have I forgotten how to eat?

How long has it been since my smile was real?

 

The smile on the ice

I keep on the mask

I kept on the mask

Because I thought it might scare you

To see me under the ice

Now I know I was right

You ripped me apart

And taught me the art

Of the mask

After the collapse

That’s why it’s easier not to reveal yourself

It’s easier to just wear the mask

 

Trust me

I will change myself

I will never eat

I will never sleep

I will never trust me

I will never trust ice

I will never trust me