Tough Cookie
On the outside
My resilience is clear
My spirit is indomitable
I persevere-with grace and cheer
My work ethic is The Terminator
It does not know the meaning to rest
I struggle for success
And my own happiness
Give up-pish posh
I'll do that when I'm dead
I"m entitled to happiness
And I won't settle for less
But on the inside
I cannot deny
Underneath my toughness
I really want to cry
I struggle with doubt
I'm anxious about life
I can't help but worry,
"What if my mom is right?"
What if I'm bound to be alone?
What if I have no say over my life?
What if I'm bound to be poor?
Or live a working class life?
Sometimes I think my life sucks
Because my social life is on the skids
It has been for years
I just realize it now-more than back then
Life is so precarious
And seems so gratuitous
I sometimes think
My birth was fortuitous
I've considered suicide
But what good would it be
Ministers may use it
To score points for their theology
I've heard it before
Some ministers are that callous
Calculating and manipulative
And wouldn't be surprising-full of malice
I need help
I need to succeed socially as well as bookwise
I need better insight
Because I want to succeed in life