mia
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I am trapped
inside my body
the shell of a girl who cries at the thought
of breakfast, lunch and dinner
or the days when I say "fuck it"
and eat how I should
just to be punished by someone screaming
choosing clothes
looking in the mirror
starring into a stranger.
we know tonight we'll skip dinner
to wake up a little bit thinner.
walking with your dog will never be the same
Dear eyes,
This is a callout letter
A "stop lying" letter
A "don't tell me what to do" letter
A "this is God's body" letter
Stop lying, eyes.
When you’re a child you long for secrets
Memories from long ago, hope for the future
Small collections of thoughts passed from person to person
“don’t tell anyone, please.”
You whisper between yourselves
Mia whispers that I could be better.
Ana shouts at me to pull it together.
Mia says she wants what is best.
Ask the girl in the glass how she survives on just air.
Ask her, how does she last when she devours nothing but despair?
And remorse coats her every attempt to ignore what she sees,
Recently I met a friend
Ana was her name
She introduced me to another, mia,
The two, almost the same.
They told me of the perfect girl
Put pictures in my head
I am living in a mirror,
I can never measure up.
I am stuck inside this world of reflection,
I can only see myself.
The outside world is very dim, just only a faded picture.
Little girls are barbie's,
little girls are sweet,
little girls are perfect,and taught to be neat.
Taught to be skinny, and pretty, and fair.
Taught to have beautiful, long locks of hair.
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall.
Make me pretty, thin, and tall.
Who is fairest of us all?
When will Beauty finally fall?
Paint my face and Dye my hair,
Then will someone truly care?
Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Who's the fairest of them all?
She who's tall and she who's thin,
She who gets a workout in
She whose thighs are far apart,
She who has an ice cold heart.
