csa
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The first thing I remember loving was my cat-
My first best friend.
And my baby brother,
And dinosaurs.
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I loved my stuffed animals,
And worms on the sidewalk.
I loved the people in movies,
I've always been the kind of person
To dig a splinter out,
With my teeth, if I have to-
Instead of soaking it in water
And waiting for it came out on it's own.
-
Even if it made the pain worse at first,
The things I lost
Are vast.
Difficult to name,
Harder to think about
Without anger bubbling up the well in my chest
-
Whole years are smoke.
Memories, good and bad,
Swirling into empty space,
Sometimes I can't help but fantasize
About finding myself in the dark with you again
But not the way it was
-
In my mind, I'm anything but afraid
-
Like practice, I strategize