There is one thing that keeps me going though.
What I see. I see my future. It looks bright… but then dark.
I see a smile, a big house, my dream career, the right amount of money. But one thing I can’t clear of, who is that smile of exactly?
Is there actually hope for me to experience happiness?
I actually was relieved… but I soon got a vision of my future again.
The same big house, my dream career, and the right amount of money… but what’s this? I see no smile coming from me. Just my ex-lover. I see myself, lonely and nothing but tears. I’ve always hoped for at least marriage, pets, or even children.
I see myself alone with no one to depend on.
I’ve always considered myself independent though, no matter what the circumstances were.
I guess all I should have is myself. I know for a fact that I won’t let my own self down.
But at the same time… I’d rather have someone sticking with me by my side.
Someone to tell me that everything will be alright, no matter what the terms are. I never seem to have much luck into finding someone who will never leave my life or talk about me negatively behind my back…
But that’s life for you.
All I have for now is “hope” and luck.
The one person I once believed would never leave…
He left. I remember all I did was worry and stress.
Believing that my life was over. The positive of all this…
I still managed to get through the game of life.
In this part of the game there’s only tears that you learn to turn into a thought,
Regret that you turn into a lesson learned,
Frustration that you have to make into an “experience” that you’ll laugh at when you get older,
And a broken heart that you have the choice to either heal or END the pain.
Want a hint in this game?
Ending the pain is taking the straightforward way out and can result to you losing the whole thing. You will lose anything and everything that you have worked hard for, anyone and everyone whoever cared about you…
And the worst, the one that caused your heart to break will get to keep playing (don’t let them win).
I kept this etched into my mind whenever I planned to pick up that gun.
Or even those pills or take..