you say those words to me that cut through my heart like a knife.

It's not just once, hundreds of times you plunge the knife into my already lacerated heart.

Tears stream down my face I'm screaming

"MOTHER, I LOVE YOU."

But you do not hear me. 

You do not see my tears.

You are blinded by your decisions.

Poison courses through your veins

"Why did you choose this over me Mother?"

You try to put out your inner fire 

but the alcohol only makes it burn hotter.

You chose love in a bottle 

over loving your own daughter.