Gilded
Location
I hadn't picked up the pen in years since way back when I was too romanced by lonely
Convinced That somehow the breath of me could compare to those of before
But I stand reborn before you
To say that in a way I couldn't fake it
Because all this paper and all this pulp can't shape me scars
And god if It could
all I would get out of you this is an off-comment
Like
Look at how pretty his pain is
As if he thinks he's been objectified, dehumanized
I'm just a dude who has more hands than men I’ve seen cry
More fingers than friends that I can stand by
But I’m not saying that I can relate to your poignant cries
I didn’t pick up the pen because I was scared you’d think I’m a poet
Because these girls seem to think that if my words can somehow paint stormy skies
Then girl I could take you places that you have never been
Even though everyone knows you can never trust a pretty boy with light skin
We’re white sin
And the less melanin
the quicker our eyes change from green to gone like a gilded idol
Our voice is the one singing you those lies through the vinyl
Our thousand hands have hurt you a thousand times over
Our shoulders shoulder the weight of a thousand years of horrors
I am Ceasar
I’m a believer in things I can't count on
I am war
I am peace
I’m the KKK
I’m the man beating his wife on the south side of Manhattan
And so I don't know anymore makes a man anymore
Screamed the mother, lived the lover, said the shotgun to the head.
boy we wish you well
And we'll go on wishing he didn't well up slave masters blood
The kind that floods his veins that refuse to listen
And so so out the outside he’s all smoke, he’s all booze, he’s all ruin, he’s all glisten
Growing older on planes slanted
at angles of cold shoulders
He must be bolder with heart cooled colder than 45 degrees
Struttin obtusely with thoughts acuter
Because when your future get stuffed in stiff and stubbled boxes
Theres not much room for feelings
So what he really feels he wants to ask a woman is: can I be a man and clean all this up for you?
Because I’m a mess
Because manhood is a funny thing
Because you make falling in love too damn easy
Because the night our eyes first played freeze tag all
I could see was the engine behind them
Your mind was an electric night right before a riot
A riot against the only thing you hated more than mirrors
Me
And I may be the guy who’s “not like most other men”
But I am the pretty boy with light skin and white sins
And although my grace may not taste as great as the golden gates
baby I am the one.
The one who the one thing he hates more than love is not being in it
The one thing he loves more than nights you slur into mornings
Is that with you there's no more before and there's no more after
And after all that
Would you love me if I still have some shit I need to talk through?
Clearly..?
Because I hadn’t picked up a pen in years
But damn girl penned as if she alone could forge the signature of the sun
The only one who would never wait until tomorrow
Because today
Because today is the oldest that I have ever been
And the youngest that we will ever be
And you got me
You got me believing again
Breathing breeze again
Skipping A through D and just talking in ease again
and I do not know
if this will work out in the end
but I have a daydream of your face
in very close proximity to mine
So can I count on your spine?
And will you count on mine?
Because faith for me has been by no means easy grounds
just know that my Pinocchio nose knows no bounds
And so I'd be lying if I didn't say that the way you move moves me
You got me raised
You got me lifted
You got me touching stars that never existed
I got pale skin
I got privilege
I'm a man
I’m a man
a man..?
Standing
With a slighter slouch in his stiff spine
Just a young man
Who needs your five fingers entwined with the twins of mine.