At First, But Then, So Now
At first,
When I was with him,
The entire world made sense.
The reason the sky was blue, I undersood.
The vibrations of the Earth's turn, I felt.
At first,
When I was with him,
The way of man made sense.
The reason they fought, I understood.
The reason they cried, I felt.
When I was with him,
The way I was made sense.
The emotions I felt, I understood.
The moments of elation, I felt.
When I was with him,
The ambiguity of it all made sense.
Why some people made it, I understood.
Those people who didn't, I felt.
But then,
I was no longer with him,
And how we ended didn't make sense.
Why he left, I never understood.
The door as he slammed it behind him, I felt.
I was no longer with him,
And my life no longer made sense.
Why I woke up wasn't quite understood.
Why I couldn't process what it was I felt.
I was no longer with him,
And to my friends, I didn't make sense.
They just never understood.
They didnt know how pain-filled I felt.
I was no longer with him,
And suddenly, I didn't make sense.
I stayed in bed for reasons I misunedrstood.
I complicated the simple emotions I felt.
I was no longer with him,
And things were making sense.
My life is short and my own, I understood.
The love I made for myself, I felt.
So now,
When I'm by myself,
Things continue to make sense.
The way life works, I understand.
When I'm by myself,
Why he left makes sense.
He needed space, and I understand.
When I'm by myself,
What I need makes sense.
I needed to understand,
I needed love for myself to be felt.