because i thought i loved you
Because I thought I loved you
I let myself be hurt
My heart torn apart by your words
Because I thought I loved you
I believed you
When you said no one else could love me
When you said
I was ugly
Stupid
Fat
Disgusting
Because I thought I loved you
I poured my heart into you
I planted a seed in you and held onto it
Hoping that one day it would sprout
And that you would love me as true as the sun is to the moon
Because I thought you loved me
I went back to you
Over and over again
Like a moth flies to flame
I went back to the one who was slowly killing me
Or I was slowly killing myself
My flesh is scared with your memory
A reminder that I now I hate you
Because I learned to love myself
I learned to appreciate the way my belly folds when I sit
I learned to care for the way my eyes squint when I smile
And how my thighs rumble when I walk
Because I love myself
I know that you never loved me
You loved the control you had over me
And because I love him
I don’t miss you
I don’t ache for your attention
Or crave your affection
Because he loves me
I now know the beauty you hid from me.