' 'pain' 'depression' 'sadness' 'words' 'hurt' 'love yourself'

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To my love, i am like a king with no crown a knight with no honor a warrior with no praise a smith with no hammer, a child with no toy, a brain with no thought, like a woman that is childless.
I lie awake at night Staring at the deep night sky Wishing I could go back in time                    To make what we could have been                    
Some days our meadow is peaceful; The daisies sway with the breeze  And our river sings a tune. Some days our meadow is on fire; Burning the grass with such passion No one else could ever know.
Anger is my Fault. Sadness is my Fault. Emotions are my Fault. Everything I lack is my Fault.   How one bad day, Can spread,
Anger is my Fault. Sadness is my Fault. Emotions are my Fault. Everything I lack is my Fault.   How one bad day, Can spread,
I told my best friend I was diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder, and ocd  when I was 13.  Three months after trying to kill myself. 
This is no longer my body        This body Im in  My deep chocolate brown eyes that stare into the mirror              Don't look so brown                  the color has changed yet their are still in me 
Within the clouds I find nothing   But within your voice I see something   In the distance,  The dark is near But in my heart The stars are clear  
I am a sound Created to be heard  I want to be heard and I want to hear so that I can learn to use my sound the right way  I am a unique and I am a blessing  I can build and I can destroy 
Y’all will never changeY’all will never changeTalk about the hateBut y’all still causing pain Nd Y’all won’t neva bang Cause Y’all can’t neva rideWhy y’all Watched him dieOn ya Insta live ?
I walked upstairs feeling bad about myself. But then I remembered the razors on the top shelf. The urge became too powerful, I just had to fulfil. And leave red stains across my wrist,
Dear Sadness,   Sadness, you are a dark creature, leaving me without a shred of hope. I fight to outrun you, and I fight to outpace you; there you stand, lurking in my shadow.  
I'm sorry
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