pretending
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I will pretend
I will smile
I will laugh
I will play along
Nobody will know
Nobody needs to know
You don't need to know that I am pretending I don't love you
Pretending I don't care
We ask the question,
Why lie?
Well you see,
We aren’t the only ones being lied to
Everything is lies
the Grand Masquerade
does not involve ballgowns
and rejects tuxedos
the Greatest and Truest
faithfully make ornate masks
of emotion, donned just as
the sun comes up and
Since I was a little girl,
I dreamed of being a ballerina.
And now look at me:
Caught up in this twisted dance for fools.
I wished for nothing more than to have stage,
All alone I walk through land I stepped on
Looking for the cradle of the gusty wind
The wind that accords glee throughout every minds
Until contentment passed through and sing lullabies
A threadbare silence wraps itself
Around my hearing,
Stopping the sounds that
Have submerged my skin and
It replaces the noises with
My own hammering thoughts
Though I beg for
MASK
the door shuts behind me
my truth sticks in my throat
here behind my walls i am real,
i am broken,
here behind my walls i struggle with feelings unspoken,
She sits there, thoughts swirling around her
A hurricane of hurt and pain
There's no escape. They follow everywhere.
Haunting and creeping through her daily life
Honestly?
This confidence?
A facade, a sham,
a role played in the performance --
my life.
Should the world be a stage,
I shall be it’s greatest
actor.
The curtains open.
The audience is silent.
My heart aches.
But the show must go on.
Fake a smile.
To hide my sadden frown.
Fake a laugh.
To conceal the tears I'm actually choking on.
...
How precious seconds pass by me with haste.
I grip its tail in hopes that it will stay.
A force that acts poetically with space.
"Leave me slowly. Keep me here." I pray.
I am a perfect puzzle. A miserable mish-mash of jagged jigsaw edges that never seem to match up. An array of sudden splashed colors that do not make sense.Unless you painstakingly,
Shadows of the night
Mortal enemy
Of my soulless life
That once again
Has brought to the light
What by day I manage
To keep buried deep inside me
By day you can see
Smile,
Wave hello,
Be friendly,
Be bold,
Be perfect.
They expect that from you,
So you give it to them.
“What’s wrong?”
They ask, if you only slightly frown.
And it's funny,
How the pot's always calling the kettle black,
Funny the hypocrisy,
When you say,
"I'd never do something like that,"
Funny how similar
So many seemingly separate people can be,
I close my eyes and breathe
as I try to remember
my likes, my loves,
my dislikes, my hates,
my hobbies, my work,
my friends, my enemies.
I have to remember
my character, my lines,
Stand up
Run
Jump
Climb
Play
Laugh
Sit down
Cry
Over and over again
until the pain subsides some,
only to begin again.
