You were never mine

but I wanted you.

 

I wanted with

every bruised limb of my body

every crack in my faulty brain

every beat of my cold heart.

I have never wanted anything more than you.

 

I was buried alive.

drowning.

suffocating.

 

You dug me out.

saved me.

breathed life back into my aching lungs.

 

I was drunk on you.

thoughts of you.

dreams of you.

Your lips were red as wine.

 

You stitched me back together with

your words, teasing.

your laughter.

your touch.

 

But it meant nothing to you

and everything to me.

 

I was buried again.

drowning again.

suffocating again.

 

Thoughts of you a plague,

haunting.

Dreams of you nightmares,

seeping into wakefulness.

Your lips are red as blood.

 

Stitches torn apart by 

your words, condescending.

your laughter.

your touch.

 

I mean nothing to you

and you mean everything to me.

I am left wanting.

 

You were never mine

but I want you.